Pretend
by Miyuko Yamada
Summary: I couldn't stand to see you with anyone else. And I felt disgusting for all those thoughts of you I had. But I couldn't deny that there was something there. KyouyaxKaoru. Yaoi, m for a reason. Rewrite and I think its better. POV will switch.
1. Chapter 1

Hello there everyone! If you read the original, thank you a million times over! But after my computer died for numerous months, I lost all my documents. But my rewrites are better anyway so yeah. Well, I apologize if anyone is out of character. Also please please please review, or how will I know I have a reader?

Oh yeah, warnings: cursing, "dirty" words, masturbation, fantasizing, being descriptive, and of course the best warning ever, YAOI! (If you don't like it the leave. No one is forcing you to stay)

Enjoy, my lovelies.

* * *

Kyouya Ootori's Point Of View

You saw past every shield, every wall, and every mask of composure I wore even in while I slept, dreaming about you, and straight into a place even I was not well acquainted with: my soul. And I did the same to you. It seemed like in those split seconds when our eyes would catch, nothing else around us was real. But I wasn't quite sure if I like what was going on. We were so different. And maybe that was the reason I loved you. Or maybe that was the reason I couldn't stand to look at you.

You pulled your gaze from mine, because I did not have enough strength to do so myself, and turned back to Hikaru to perform your "brotherly love" act. I couldn't even stand to watch; I always got knots in my stomach. I turned my back to you. I knew it was wrong, those feelings I had for him. But I could deny them. I opened my notebook and pretended to be busy,

"Kyouya? Kyouya, you look kinda spacey…You alright?" I heard Tamaki's voice moving closer to me.

I turned around, smiling at him, "Perfectly fine," I looked back down at my notebook and pushed my glasses higher up on my nose, "Now you best get back to your guest. You are the king, aren't you?"

"I am!" the blonde turned away from my and started back to his customers, where he too would put on a fake face.

"Fake," I thought closing my notebook, "Just like everyone else here."

I stole a quick glance at Hikaru and Kaoru. Their noses were brushing, the older of the two cradling the others face in his hands while the other forced a blush to appear on his cheeks. All fake. But even knowing this, it never failed to trigger feelings nausea and disgust in the very pit of my stomach. I hated even seeing them while we had guest: draped all over each other, whispering words of nonsense and lies of things that never happened. After club, if they kept their distance from each other, it was fine. But watching another man touch Kaoru, it was just plain unacceptable. I told myself to give it up. That he wasn't worth anything. And most days I would remind myself of how stupid I was. Stupid for being gay. Stupid for loving Kaoru. Stupid for thinking I ever had a chance. Generally I was much too smart to act purely on emotions or to blindly put all my faith in a single person. But he was just so special. He held my heart without the slightest clue.

I looked over at Haruhi, the natural type, who was probably telling her customers another story about her mother. A story they'd probably all heard a million times. Honey-senpai was stuffing his face with cake while Mori-senpai took the time between the childish teen's bites to wipe his mouth. Tamaki was playing his prince character as always. Everything was completely normal at the host club. This meant that I too had to be normal.

I plastered a fake smile on my face, held back the vomit, and approached the twins, magazines in my hand.

"And now you, young ladies, can witness all the beautiful _forbidden_ moments that place after visiting hours for only…"

I detested having to do this with every fiber of my body. It was all so fake; _we_ were all so fake. It was nothing but a lie put on for the pleasure of others. It was all just a sick twisted game that so many had fallen for.

By the end of the day, I was thanking everything that was holy that the school day was almost over. Tamaki relaxed back into an armchair as the last guest exited.

"This day was so uneventful," the blonde complained.

"I agree," Hikaru draped one arm across Kaoru's shoulders.

I ducked my head, hiding my hatred and pushing my glasses further up on my nose, "I'll be the first to take my leave today," I grabbed my bag and stormed out of the room, everyone to afraid to ask why. (a/n: this is where it starts to change)

I couldn't even begin to sleep that night. My eyelids were heavy I was laying in my bed, my limbs tired, my brain wanting to shut down, but I couldn't. Because the only thing I wanted more than sleep at that moment was Kaoru. I bit down on my bottom lip as I reached down, grasping my already semi-erect member.

"Oh fuck…Kaoru…" I whispered as I began to stroke myself to thoughts of him.

I was sick. I was a sick disgusting pervert. Why the hell couldn't I just give up? I was a horrendous person, I thought.

I rolled onto my side and brought my knees closer to my chest as my pace quickened. I dug my other hand through my hair and called out his name again. I knew I wasn't going to last long.

"Kyouya~" I could practically hear the soft whimper of the red-head's voice in my ears.

In my mind, he was nude, wet, and reaching down to touch his beautiful throbbing cock I studied every inch of his perfect body. He then reached down further, beginning to stroke himself.

"This you're fault Kyouya-senpai~"

He dropped to the ground, chest and face resting there, but ass still sticking up. While pleasuring himself with one hand, he reached around to his ass and spread his cheeks apart, revealing his entrance.

"Put it in me Kyouya~" he moaned, "I can't wait!"

That image as enough to make me cum into my own hand.

"I am repulsive," was the only thing that ran through my mind.

I wiped my hand on the sheet and prayed that maybe I could get some sleep.

* * *

Well? What do you all think? And are you going to kill me for leaving it like that?

~fall4themusic


	2. Chapter 2

(A/N)Hello there again, my lovelies! Thank you sooo much to the THREE people who reviewed the first chapter. Please review! Otherwise I will not know I have a reader. It can be something short, I don't care. And if you're feeling super nice, do what I do and review every single story I read. Sorry about the mini-rant. Anyway, I just got really bored and this is the outcome. I hope you love it. And again, I would like to apologize if any of the characters are out of character. Now for the story most of you skipped the a/n for!

* * *

**Kaoru Hitachiin's P.O.V.**

My mind was still caught up in what happened the day before; why had you run out so abruptly?

I couldn't deny that there was something. But what, I had no clue.

He placed his hands on my cheeks, bringing my face closer to his, our noses brushing. My fingers were tangled in his hair as I forced a blush to appear on my cheeks. He was whispering lies into my ear, and I would just play along. This was my brother. This was the routine I could now do in my sleep. I turned away from him, again part of our act.

Our eyes would catch everyday right here. This was the time when I would see something no one else saw. I would see this locked up Kyouya. The Kyouya that sometimes smiled and blushed and could never look away from me. The Kyouya that only I ever saw. You were always so smart, so every day I yearned to walk up to you and ask why it was our eyes kept on catching. And I was almost positive you would have had the answer. There was something hypnotizing about you.

There was always this awkwardness about it that almost made the risks worthwhile. And I just couldn't seem to ever get over the color of your eyes that pierced into mine and the fact the sometimes you would smile _at me_. It felt like I could almost hear your heartbeat and your breathing and I hated to admit it but every time I could I would make my breathe in synchronization with yours.

That day was no different. Our eyes caught and for a few sweet moments of bliss it seemed as though everything froze so we could make this moment ours. Even though these moments would only last seconds if even, it seemed like hours. We never said a single word about it to anyone or even to each other, but it seemed like we'd conveyed more to each other than we ever could with words. But this day, instead of that look of slight curiosity and happiness, your eyes screamed at me with fiery rage and complete despair. And it hit me straight in my soul.

I would have given anything to walk over to you without any questions and have you cry into my shoulder. I wonder if you could have seen that in my eyes. Or if you even would've taken me up on my offer.

But still neither of us drew our eyes away. Now I was caught and it was nearly impossible for me to look away unless an outside force acted. But an outside force did act.

Hikaru began to nibble seductively on my ear, earning a shocked yelp from me.

"H-Hikaru…" I jumped right back into my character, "I'm so embarrassed that you would do that in public!" I turned my head away from him, hoping I could catch Kyouya's eyes again.

We had NOT rehearsed that and I couldn't help but be a little pissed. But I couldn't let it show. I had to stay in character no matter what. I just had to keep pretending.

Much to my luck, Kyouya was still studying me. Now accompanying his fury and misery was a look of nausea and complete guilt. He began taking slow steps back. I pulled myself from my brother's grasp and began quick pace towards the older male, as my curiosity and worry got the better of me.

"Kaoru…Kaoru, where are you going?" I could hear Hikaru close behind me.

As I got closer to him, he began to shake his head and put his hand out in front of him as if it would hold me back. Everyone's eyes were now on us. I felt Hikaru reach around, slipping his arms around my waist possibly trying to stop me. I was now directly in front of him. Kyouya, now looking even sicker, placed his hand over his mouth and leaned over, resting one hand on my shoulder making the top of his head right below his chin. Hikaru pulled his hands from my waist.

"Kaoru I-" Kyouya was silenced as he began to vomit down the front of my uniform.

I immediately heard the entire room gasp in sheer surprise. I reached up placing my hand on the older man's back, rubbing slow circles as he proceeded to vomit down my uniform. Kyouya wiped his sleeve across his face.

"God, Kaoru!" my brother shrieked, "Look what he's done to you!"

"You okay?" I whispered.

I could feel your soft breathing, coming in quick and short pants now that you had stopped.

"Kaoru…" was all you could manage to whisper.

"My god! Someone get a doctor!" some girl randomly screamed out.

It wasn't like you to not explain things, to not have some sort of logic and an answer to everything little thing that would ever happen in life and everything that has ever happened. You would always be the first one with an explanation…But instead of explaining that you'd had something bad for lunch, or that you were sick but couldn't miss a day of school, you simply stood back up and walked out of the room, not a single word uttered.

**Kyouya Ootori's P.O.V**

I should have said something before I left.

I was just so ashamed.

I stood, hunched over the sink, rinsing out my mouth and splashing water onto my face, as though it would somehow cure everything. I was hoping that somehow cold water would make me forget what had just happened. I leaned up, staring at my reflection in the mirror, hating the person that stared back at me. I could stand the empty silence that the room held, apart from the running water and quick shallow pants of my breath. I was so ashamed, but I had too much pride at the time to dropped down on my knees and apologize (at least in front of people), even though it was clearly in order.

I knew exactly what had caused my sickness: Hikaru. It wasn't the whole incest thing that bothered me though. It was the fact that it was someone else touching Kaoru that made me sick. I wanted him to mine and no one else's. I wanted to be the only person who ever touched him in that way. In my mind he was already mine. I already couldn't stand the thought of anyone else touching Kaoru that way.

Granted you were most likely gay, but it was nearly impossible that you would have thing for someone like me. I was just too unemotional. I couldn't see you with someone like me, but constantly envisioned you with me. There were so many things wrong with it…But I couldn't help but think about you on nearly a constant basis.

I felt so damned guilty for dreaming about you. How I wished I could've controlled it! I couldn't stand the fact that I was such a pervert that sometimes I would actually try to think about you in a perverted way so I could get off to those thoughts. But yet I was constantly inwardly screaming about how pissed off I was that I couldn't stop having wet dreams about you. I was such a hypocrite! I couldn't even stand myself.

I don't know how long in was in the bathroom, mainly thinking, but it must've been a while, for when I finally gathered up enough courage and strength to return to the third music room, it was nearly empty.

Everyone except Kaoru were seated on two red couches parallel to each other. And I couldn't help but be completely humiliated as I entered the near silent room.

"Kyou-chan!" Hunny-senpai jumped off the couch and running toward me, "Is Kyou-chan okay? You still look pale! Should we call a doctor for you?"

"Thank you, Hunny-senpai, but I'm fine now. But would you mind pointing my in the direction of Kaoru?"

"Kao-chan is changing into his street clothes behind the curtains over there."

"Thank you."

As I began walking toward the curtains, I could feel someone's eyes bearing into my back, and I was almost positive they were Hikaru's. He had no conscious reason for hating me. But I guess my little slip up today drove him over the edge. I pretended that I didn't notice him glaring at me and continues toward the curtains in the opposite of the room.

"Kaoru?" I pulled back the curtain just enough for me to slip into the covered area.

He was shirtless. That was the first thing I noticed when I entered.

"Kyouya-senpai?" he wore a pair of plain jeans and reached for a white button-up shirt to wear, "Are you okay?"

"Yes…I came to apologize."

"It's not your fault," he slipped the shirt over his arms and began to button it, "But are you sick or anything?"

"Not that I'm aware of…But honestly, I offer my sincerest of apologies…Is there anything I could do to make up for do something so shameful?"

"What's shameful about being sick?"

"Kaoru, I'm not sick! Do I look sick to you?"

He just stared at me for a few seconds, "I know it wasn't like you meant to do it. So there's really no need to make a big deal about it."

"Kaoru…I did something wrong and now I'm asking to have some sort of redemption."

"You know no one is angry with you right?"

I couldn't help myself: I gave a slight laugh, "I beg to differ."

"What are you talking about Kyouya-senpai?"

"You're brother was glaring at me like I was the devil himself."

"But that's just Hikaru. You know how he is; how he gets around me. He's so possessive sometimes it's like he's my lover or something."

I couldn't even believe I was so stupid to overlook something as simple as that. There was a reason why Hikaru was become so much more sensual with Kaoru, why he touched him more after club, why he was glaring at me. He knew. He knew very well that I had something for his brother. And he had something for his little brother as well...

* * *

Well? Please review! I don't want to be pushy...but come on~please~!

Thank you, my lovelies!


	3. Chapter 3

(A/N)GAAAAAAAHHH! My computer died and I wasn't able to do anything, but thank you billions for being patient with me *deep bow* I love you all… So anyway, along with being computerless for ever, my muse ran away with his gay Latin lover. But he came back and apologized…Then we killed his Latin lover. He's with an Asian now…Sorry…Anyway when I was telling my friends about this they were asking how this pairing would work; it was so weird. Well if you ask me, it's one of the only ones that make sense when Haruhi still exists. Think of it like this: Tamaki and Hikaru are going after Haruhi, Mori and Hunny are just destine to be…Who's left? Well sorry sorry sorry for the delay and thank you all for your support. I apologize in advance if any of the characters are out of character. Funny story: my ex girlfriend liked to do voice role-playing over the phone with Hetalia characters, but I made her stop doing it with me because I was afraid I was going to screw up the characters and disgrace the manga ka. Also, if you want to read any of my original works (yaoi of course) send me a message or something. And again, I love you and thank you for the endless support. Enjoy, my lovelies…

* * *

Kaoru Hitachiin's P.O.V.

Kyouya's eyes never lied, at least to me. They screamed out an expression of shock and surprise.

"W-what?" I said, buttoning up the last button and straightening my collar.

Kyouya looked down at his feet, a pale blush on his cheeks, "He…he's not your lover…is he?"

" No! No!" I couldn't help but laugh, "Of course not! That's just a stupid little act we put on! …But…but recently… he's been…uhm… Listen I don't want to burden you or anything! And if we stay back here too long, people will start thinking strange things and if Hikaru is already mad at you I wouldn't want to push it."

I wanted to tell him, but I just couldn't. There were some many things attached. Why couldn't I just do what I wanted to, say what I wanted to, and not care what anyone else thought? I bit down on my bottom lip, half hoping his eyes wouldn't catch mine again so he wouldn't be able to see that I really wanted to stay back there and talk forever, half of me wishing he would just hold me. But I knew that wouldn't happen.

"…What's wrong?"

Your voice was soft, caring, the only time I'd ever heard it so sincere. I shivered and looked up at you, your eyes again holding mine.

"Kyouya…"

"What is Hikaru doing to you?"

"…Don't tell him I told you…okay?" my voice sounded scared and desperate, even to me.

"I won't," your voice had softened to a purr like whisper that seemed to melt my core.

"Recently…you…you see the things we do in our act…right?"

"Don't remind me," it now held and edge to it that almost made me cringe.

"W-well…he's been bringing those tendencies home and…into our bed."

"…What do you mean?"

"You know…how sometimes he looks like he's about to kiss me…and he puts his hands on my hips…and holds me?"

You sighed, "Yeah…"

"Well…he's been…uhm...taking those things into our bed… and to the next level…"

"…Did he touch you?"

"W-what do you mean by that?"

"Did that bastard touch you in a place you didn't want to be touched?"

Have I ever told you that you are so complex? That soft purr of voice held anger to it, but yet, the most heartfelt worry I'd ever heard, and so many other deep emotions I couldn't even begin to fathom. You were so strong; so hard to figure out because most of the time you stayed locked away and hidden behind that mask of tranquility and you let no one see what was really going on in your head. I know I've said this to myself at least a million times in a million different words, but I just couldn't manage to escape the fact that _I_ ,of all people, had the possible chance to see that veiled person, if even for a second. Because every second I was able to see that person you showed to no one else, it was like I was able to cradle this small piece of an unreal heaven that pulled me away from reality and everything dreadful in my life. And suddenly I couldn't stop thinking about you and how to get that little piece of heaven again.

I couldn't lie to you when you looked at me like that, "….Four times…" I sounded like I was about to cry.

"…What did he do to you?"

"…You…you don't really care about it, do you?

"…Did he fuck you?"

I felt my blood rush into my cheeks, "N-no…today when he was whispering in my ear…he said he was going to do it tonight."

"What did he make you do?"

"Repeatedly give him…oral sex…and…he…he touched mine too… I told him to stop…but he just kept on…and…he put his fingers…up _there_…I kept telling him not to...but he just said it was okay…even when I started crying-"

"He made you cry?"

I bit down on my bottom lip and nodded.

"…No," you shook your head

"W-what?"

"…I'm gonna go fucking kill him."

"Kyouya! You can't!  
"Why?"

"He's my brother!"

"He touched you and made you cry! No one should make you cry! And no one else should touch you!"

"…'Else'?"

Kyouya Ootori's P.O.V.

_Oh shit, _I thought, my eyes going wide,_ Did I really just say that?_

"Kaoru!" Hikaru's voice called, walking toward the curtain, "Kaoru, what are you doing back there with Kyouya? Everyone else already left and we need to get home; we have things to do."

You bit your lip as Hikaru flung open the curtain, and looked away, not meeting my eyes.

"Y-yeah…Sorry…"

I stood between you and him, awkwardly; not wanting you to go, knowing what would happen if you did.

"Why don't I walk you two out?" I gave best fake smile.

"Thanks, Kyouya-sempai, but I think we've got it," your brother's voice may have sounded normal to anyone else, but I could tell he wanted to punch me.

"No, no, I insist."

He rolled his eyes, "Fine, just let me go get my bag."

He exited, leaving us, and the second he was gone, you grabbed onto my arm, eyes filled with fright and apprehension.

"Kyouya-sempai… Kyouya please…Please don't let him take me home…"

The fact that you had so much fright, so much pain, it killed me. I couldn't bear to see you in such anguish. I ran one hand across your hair, in a sign of comfort and understanding, and nodded my head.

"Come on," I gently placed my hand out your back, pushing you softly, "We need to go."

I couldn't let anyone hurt you. It would kill me if I let you go home with him and then I had to look at you tomorrow. I know you would never love me after that. Even if the chance was thin then, if I let Hikaru take you, the chance would completely diminish and I'd be left empty and broken.

My life was about grades and money before you. Before you I didn't give a crap about anyone but myself. Anyone else's problems were completely unheard and unimportant. But…I didn't even know why it was you. You were so kind to anyone it seemed. All you wanted was for everyone else around you to be happy. Even though for most of your life you were so locked up, I could see you blooming, and it gave me chills when you were happy.

Quickly you grabbed your things, and we exit our private little area. Hikaru waited and rolled his eyes, noticing my hand on Kaoru's back. I mad e no move to remove it though. You looked down at your feet and stumbled further. He glared at me. I smiled at him in return.

"Kyouya, what are you doing?"

"…I'm walking."

"You're touching my brother."

"…Is that a problem?"

"He's_ my _brother."

"…So?"

I wanted so much to punch him right there. How could anyone hurt you? Why would anyone hurt you? Why would anyone make you cry? How could anyone cause you so much pain and pay it no mind?

"Who said you could touch him…Especially after what you just did."

"Hikaru-" you began but were instantly cut off.

"Shut up Kaoru. I don't like the way he looks at us and now he's touching you."

"He doesn't look at us in any specific way, Hikaru."

_Yeah!_, I thought, _I'm looking at him, not you, you bastard!_

"Hikaru, calm down, your just being paranoid," I sighed.

"Shut the fuck up! What the hell do you know! I see the way you look at us! You look at us like you want to vomit! And what you did today proves this! Get your fucking hands off my brother!" he shoved me away from you and grabbed you around your waist, pulling you close to him, "What's wrong with us? What's wrong with this!" he pushed his lips violently against yours. You gasped and he took this opportunity to thrust his tongue into your mouth, "He fucking loves me! I'm going to make you mine in front of this bastard! That way he understands his place!" he quickly undid the button on your jeans and put his right hand down, grasping your member.

"Hikaru!" You tried to remove his hands, but the attempts were futile, and tears began to stream down your cheeks, "Hikaru! Stop! Kyouya please! You promised me!"

I couldn't take it, "Don't you dare touch him!"

"What'd you promise him you bastard!"

"Kyouya!"

I pushed him away and you ran into my arms, me quickly embracing you, "Leave him out of this!"

"You stay out of this! You have no right to tell me what to do! He is my brother! You don't even know him!"

I began to pull you away, toward the exit of the room.

"Kaoru! KAORU! Where are you going! GET BACK HERE! YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITH OUT ME!"

I feel you cringe, and I pull you away, even faster. Your pain killed me.

* * *

(A/N) Okay, so I'm sure you want to kill me. Oh yeah, I actually really support HikaruxKaoru, just not in this story. So please don't get on my case about evil Hikaru. I actually love him. Please please please review! I will love you forever! I promise! Thank you again, my lovelies.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: First off I'm going to apologize, seemingly part of the routine whenever I post something. Well, my computer died again and then once I got it back, I had no clue what to write. But I finally got something. I really hope you guys enjoy this and I'm so sorry for the wait. I feel terrible about this. I'll try and update more frequently. I'd like to apologize in advance for any out of character-ness. Well, enjoy my lovelies~ And please don't forget to review~!

* * *

Kyouya Ootori's POV

I'll be the first to admit, I was being a stupid selfish child. There were other ways to go about this, other ways this could've been handled. But my stupid ass thought that practically dragging you to my house, completely unannounced to anyone, was simply the brightest of ideas, and here you sat, on the couch in my bedroom, wiping your eyes on the back of your hands.

I sat next to you, trying my hardest to come up with some words to soothe you; words that would take all the pain away. I could be quite the wordsmith, believe it or not. But now I was at a complete and total blank. I just wanted to wrap my arms around him. I just wanted to lie to him and tell him that every thing would be okay, that no one would ever hurt him like that ever again. But as I sat there wordless, thoughts of taking advantage of him crawled into my mind. How could I protect him when I was just as bad as his brother, but I was only being selfish, wanting him all for myself and settling for no compromise?

The red-head made muffled sobs as he continued to cry, ducking his head. I sighed, angry at myself, fiddling with my glasses.

"I-I'm sorry..." he said through the tears.

I furrowed my eyebrows, "Why are you apologizing?"

He drew his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them, "...I'm so sorry..."

I couldn't think of anything better to do, so I wrapped my arm around him slowly, "...You don't need to be sorry..."I could feel him shaking beneath my touch, "...You can stay here tonight...I-if you want," I turned away, knowing I was blushing.

"...R-really?" he kept his head ducked, eyes covered my his long bangs.

"Of course. I'll have the maids set up a room for you."

"...Could...could I possibly stay...in your room...I-I don't want to be alone tonight..."

I know he felt me tense up at that thought. Me...and him...in the same bed. I wasn't sure if I would be able to control myself.

"T-that's a stupid suggestion. I'm such an idiot for even bringing that up," he laughed nervously, wiping away more fallen tears with the back of his hand.

I tighten my grip around his shoulders, "That's not a stupid idea. I'm perfectly fine with it."

He relaxed a little more.

I shouldn't have said anything. I should have just let him cried, happy he was even in my arms. But no. My bright idea was to bring it back up.

"...I'm sorry that he does those kind of things to you."

And he sobbed harder. I wanted to bash my head into the nearest wall. I really should've seen that one coming.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered, my voice actually sounded sincere for once.

I wish I could've kissed him right there. Maybe that would've stopped those tears from flowing, messing up possibly the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I never wanted to see you cry. And I couldn't seem to understand the exact reason...

He finally calmed down later on that night. The tears finally stopped, the shaking and the constant apologies, finally ceased. But I was so worried that he would break down crying again at any moment. So instead of risking saying something stupid again, I just kept my mouth shut, which was probably equally as stupid as bringing up the subject. I had dinner brought to my room, because in all honesty, I didn't want anyone else to see you this delicate. After dinner he showered and I sat waiting for him to emerge. I sent him in with a pair of pajamas, not wanting him to come out with a towel wrapped around his waist, asking if he could borrow some clothes. I would have lost it most definitely. I showered after him, not meeting his eyes when he came out, towel draped around his neck. After I came out, I found him sitting on the couch, crying very softly.

"I'm sorry I left you alone," I sat down next to him.

"K-Kyouya-senpai...I didn't hear you come in..." he wiped his eyes again.

"...Is there anything I can do to help?"

"...Why would he do those things to me?"

"...I don't know why...But if he obviously doesn't love you if he's willing to hurt you this much..."

"He's my brother...There's...there's just so much wrong with it..."

"I know, I know. He shouldn't have done that...especially if you were against it."

"He's my brother! Of course I wouldn't want it!"

"...Are you going to be okay?" I wonder if he could tell how terrified I was that the answer would be no.

"Y-yeah...At some point...just...not...What am I supposed to do?"

I wanted so dreadfully to have an answer. I wanted to tell him that there was some easy quick fix and that he could be happy again and that things would go back to normal in no time. But that was fantasy.

"I-I don't know..."

"...Kyouya...that's the first time you haven't been able to answer one of my questions before..." he finally looked up, meeting my eyes.

I said nothing again. There was a battle going on in my head on whether or not I should kiss him. And luckily before it was over, he turned away again. I could see a very apparent blush on his otherwise pale cheeks.

"...I'm sorry."

"It's okay..."

"...Do you hate me?"

I jumped and furrowed my eyebrows, "Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Do you?"

"No, of course not."

"...Do you hate Hikaru?"

"...Yes, I do."

"Why?"

"Because he touches you like that."

His voice got defensive suddenly, "Why does that matter to you? What does that have to do with you? Why...why do you even care? What am I to you Kyouya?" he grabbed my shirt and looked up at me almost desperately.

Its was now or never.

Kaoru Hitachiin's POV

I felt disgusting. I needed someone to prove to me that I wasn't. And...judging by Kyouya's eyes... I thought he would be the person to make me feel that way. I wasn't very sure what made me do it in the first place. Maybe it was because he was the only willing to comfort me during a time like this. Maybe it was because I thought I was the only person he'd let in this much. Maybe it was because the way we simply looked at each other.

He leaned so close to me, so close I could feel his breath on my lips, "So much."

He pressed his lips to mine almost hungrily, his hand moving to my side. I moved against him, pushing back slightly. He parted his lips slightly, probably a reaction to me responding positively to him. He slid his tongue into my mouth, a heat behind it. Sure I'd been kissed before, but never like _this_.

I let a moan escape my throat, feeling Kyouya dig his fingers into my side. This wasn't Kyouya at all. I pulled away, gasping for air, only to have the dark haired male take advantage of my open mouth and engage us in another fervent kiss. My hand moved from his chest to his shoulders, then to his neck, and soon I had tangled my fingers in his hair. I was loosing myself. He was making me forget everything. And I would cling to this for as long as I could.

He pushed me down, him now looming over me, not even breaking the kiss. He moved one hand down, beginning to undo the buttons on my shirt. He broke the kiss, licking down my neck. I couldn't help but gasp nervously and become tense. Suddenly, Kyouya stopped. All the heat was gone.

He pulled away from me and stood, looking down and away, dark hair covering his eyes, "I-I'm sorry, I didn't meant to do that..." he turned and began to walk away.

This was my last chance.

"Kyouya..." my voice was nervous, almost shaking, though he turned and looked at me "Kyouya ...please...make me feel beautiful."

* * *

Well? How'd it go? What do you think? Gonna kill me? Hopefully not, cause living is kinda fun... Anyway, please tell me what you think. Thank you~!


End file.
